At a time when divorce is rampant, infidelity is seen as no big deal and sex is highly commercialised, we could all learn from the couple what having a successful relationship entails. The two have been the model couple, showing us what a relationship needs to work. It is for this reason that we chose them as the ideal couple for you to follow, as you strive to perfect your own relationship.
1 He never takes his eyes off her. It seems Frankie Valli had penned the words of Can't take my eyes off you for Michelle from Barack. At least that's what you'd think when you see their public displays of affection which are always punctuated by stolen glances at each other.
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul and there is no denying the love shown in each of their eyes when they look at each other. In a relationship, when you take time out to really look at each other, you will see a magnitude of things. As a couple you have to be observant of each other, so you can detect mood changes and quickly find out the cause. Every woman and every man wants to be able to say, "he has eyes only for me" or "she has eyes only for me".
However, if your eyes are wandering and rarely behold the person you are with, then that person pretty soon will feel unwanted. "The couple (Obamas) have been able to develop this relationship where she is able to give him confidence whenever he looks at her," says psychologist Dr Valerie Freckleton. "It's kind of like him giving her recognition and drawing the rest of the world to her. In a relationship you cannot just ignore the other person as if they don't exist."
2 He doesn't try to change her. Michelle has been described as "just a cardigan kind of girl", and even when persons were criticising her attire, Barack didn't distance himself from her or force her to change. Some men would have issued an ultimatum, forcing the woman to change her style. Others would have reminded her that she had a lot of money at her disposal to spend on frivolities that would please others - but Barack didn't. Being in love with someone means accepting them as they are. If your wife's hair was natural when you met her for example, then don't force her to have it processed after you are married.
Also don't belittle the person you have in your life just because your friends disapprove of them, the experts say.
3 They hug each other in public. Whenever someone wants to reassure another person of their presence or comfort them, they offer a hug. There is just something about a hug that can make a person feel very wanted and loved. It allows you to have the strength of another human infused into your body. It is no wonder then that Obama is seen hugging his wife every chance he gets. This is very important in any relationship that will last - both parties will need to feel wanted and be confident enough that someone will be there as a tower of strength for them in tough situations, Dr Freckleton says.
4 He never makes a decision without her approval.
Obama may be the president, but he doesn't make a decision, whether personal or business, without his wife. Unlike some of his predecessors whose wives were given the task of caring for the kids and puttering around the White House, Michelle is very much involved in the decision-making process because her husband seeks her approval. Both of them decide what is best for their family and the country together, they have told the media. Indeed, they highlight the importance of communication, a necessary ingredient if a relationship is expected to last. A couple means two, and therefore one cannot make a decision that will impact the relationship without consulting the other person.
5 They kiss openly. Intimacy was never a 'behind closed doors' thing for the couple, and so they never miss an opportunity to kiss. They do it off and on the camera and it always seems genuine. Kissing without inhibitions suggests a level of confidence with each other. In some cases, it seemed as though Michelle's kiss was what kept Barack going, especially in those critical moments leading up to the election. A kiss is not something that should be shared with any and everyone, and this is the reason why some women consider it cheating when a guy is caught kissing another girl. It is what creates that initial bond between two people.
6 Family is top priority. Although Barack was running for one of the most important positions in the world, his family remained top priority. His children were at his rallies right beside his wife. He took time out to play with them and take them on family outings, even while preparing to head one of the largest countries in the world. Makes your claim that you "are busy with work" seem trivial, doesn't it? "He has bought into the fact that the family is the most important institution in life," says Dr Freckleton.
She says the fact that he spends so much time with his family teaches us that we can multitask. "You can't give up your responsibilities just because, he and Michelle have set boundaries, they have agreed on those boundaries and they have upheld those boundaries."
7 They are always holding hands. It's not unusual to see elderly couples holding hands while living out their last days on earth, and as though the man fears being separated from his wife, Obama has Michelle's hand gently tucked away in his at almost every appearance in public. This gesture reinforces the fact that couples must always take the opportunity to bond with each other. It is not enough to hold her hand during the wedding ceremony, only to forget after.
When you hold her hand it shows that you never want to be separated from her and serves as a gentle reminder that you are always there by her side. If your spouse 'falls' in life or if both of you 'fall', the fact that you are holding hands would make it easier for the fallen person to rise again. "Holding hands suggest warmth and an attachment. It symbolises a kind of togetherness and it also shows that there is trust, honesty and respect in the relationship," says Dr Freckleton.
By N. W. All Woman writer
What the US President and First Lady can teach us about relationships.